A Nation in Action, and How Everyone Can Help

 A Prioritized Research Agenda for Suicide Prevention: An Action Plan to Save Lives is a key piece to directing resources for research with preventing suicide in the US. With its list of objectives, the plan highlights what the short and long term goals are for the agenda plan, one goal being to save 20,000 in suicide attempt/deaths in the next five years. On the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention website there is listed four main priorities that have evolved from the agenda plan that will help change the US and how it views suicide through media influence, change health care policies to work in favor of those who are at-risk for suicide, and lower the number of suicides in the nation.

Goal number three is the one that jumped out at me: Change the public conversation around suicide and suicide prevention. While I do agree with the agenda plan and what its main goals are, while I’m not a very political person or have a huge nation recognition, this is one priority that anyone can get involved in and try to change as an advocate. The US is supposed to be one huge, supporting community where if you need help you will receive it. Suicide, however, is not a part of this description. It is still something being kept in the dark that people are afraid to talk about, or just plain don’t care. It is from lack of understanding, and seeing suicide in a negative light that affects how people receive help, or those who are afraid to do so. It is a serious matter to consider—someone’s life is literally on the line, and if people aren’t aware of the signs, someone’s life can be lost. Our nation needs to be educated on how to recognize these signs and know which resources are available to help others, or even themselves.

Talking to someone who is at-risk for suicide is not always the easiest thing in the world. People may not know what to say, how to act, and what resources to provide. Luckily, anyone can learn what to do if they find themselves in this situation. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center has online fact sheets that gives different scenarios from interacting with a co-worker to managers and other professionals who may be at-risk, and provides tips on what to do. It lists statistics that everyone should know about suicide, such as suicide being the number 10 reason for death in the past years, and over 38,000 people committed suicide each year. Doesn’t seem much to you? How about the million people each year who attempt and fail, and now have to face the harsh criticism and lack of care that suicide survivors have to deal with.

While the idea may seem simple, these kind of tools that every person should know has enough impact to save a life. Basic knowledge and understanding  how people view suicide can change the outcome for those at-risk, and how the nation views suicide. We can achieve this goal of being a supporting community, and eventually end the negative views against suicide. This isn’t going to end overnight, but it is the first major step down the path to ending suicide that this country needs.

The Big Question: “Why?”

You must’ve a been in a place so dark, couldn’t feel the light

Reachin’ for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can’t be the way you meant to draw a crowd

[Chorus]
Oh why, that’s what I keep askin’
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I, had no clue you were masking a troubled soul, God only knows
What went wrong, and why you’d leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Roundin’ third to score that winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun

[Chorus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Now the oak trees are swayin’ in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain’t that bad a place

Oh why there’s no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn’t worth the fight
They were wrong
They lied
And now you’re gone
And we cried

‘Cause It’s not like you, to walk away in the middle of a song

Your beautiful song

Your absolutely beautiful song         

-“Why” by Rascal Flatts, from their album Unstoppable

Such a sad, beautiful song. If you haven’t listened to it, you really should. This is a perfect example of what a suicide survivor can experience, emotionally and mentally when dealing with a suicide. Survivors are left with the unanswered questions, and the biggest of the lot: “Why?”

This question is used to help explain something we don’t understand. Humans seem to have a need to understand everything, or as much as we can. When that “why?” question isn’t answered, it can lead us distraught. For survivors, it can destroy us, if we let it.

This song represents the major ideas associated with suicide, and how one person can be affected by suicide. For some of us, a person lost to suicide can be a total shock and surprise to us—they were finding their feelings and pain so well we didn’t even now they were hurting. For others, we were aware the person was depressed or suicidal. But no matter how much information we knew/didn’t know, it hurts, a lot. I remember crying my heart out the first time I heard this song after one of my friends died by suicide, and as much as it hurt I couldn’t believe how much this song told the truth. We all question “why?” in our lives, and sometimes the toughest thing we can do as a survivor is stop questioning someone’s suicide. I’m not telling people this is the right thing to do—we all grieve differently, and there’s no set and stone way to deal with death, even with a suicide.

Rascal Flatts wrote this song because of their own experiences with suicide, and all of them are affected by it. As we all are. I’m an advocate, so I’m constantly keeping myself aware of what’s going on with those around me, and how the issue of suicide is being treated by the public. Every day I see the negative views associated with it, and it needs to end. For those who question what it may be like to lose someone to suicide, this song is the perfect example. I thank Rascal Flatts, and everyone associated with this song, for giving us all the idea of what it’s like to deal with a suicide loss. This is probably one of the most important songs that deals with suicide in our pop culture. Thank you.

“This old world really ain’t that bad a place” -Why

Just a Couple of Things to Mention…

Kids aren’t always sure what they want to be when they grow up. I know for sure I wasn’t that interested in being a suicide prevention advocate. Life happens, and we are forced to react and deal with whatever unseen circumstances are thrown into our lives. Some can be tougher to handle than others. Sometimes it all becomes too much.

People who have been affected by suicide know this lesson all to well-whether you’re a survivor of suicide loss, or survived a suicide attempt yourself, life can seem to be spinning out of control with no way to stop it. It gets harder and harder to function every day, and it feels like we’re at a lost. When there seems to be no hope in life, people may turn to suicide to help end their pain. That’s where an advocate steps in.

There are tons of ways that people can get help for their problems, regardless of what their mental health status is. There are resources ranging from free phone services to call, to even online chat rooms to have someone to talk to. If you’re worried about someone, and think they’re at risk, there is help for you as well—no one should deal with a suicide alone.

Yet, people don’t ask for help. Sometimes it’s fear of who and what to ask, a fear of being judged, a fear of people not believing…the list goes on. A goal this country, if not this world, needs is to actually be able to listen to someone asking for help. It can be one of the toughest things to do, and people need to know that someone cares enough to listen to them, and help them. A suicide attempt has always been called a cry for help, and unfortunately this is true. Sometimes help can come too late, and become a major shock for all of the people involved. If we learn to listen, and not judge, and help others, this world can be a very different place.

When it also comes to asking for help, some people may not know who/what to turn to. If your friend said they’re considering suicide, what would you do? Resources are available 24/7 for people not just in the United States, but worldwide as well. Such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which gives support for a whole range of people affected by suicide—and this is just one lifeline for help.

Suicide affects everyone, and we need to know the sources and ways of dealing with a suicidal crisis, whether for yourself or a loved one. We can be the source to saving a life, and being the change in how people view suicide. This isn’t the goal for one advocate, but thousands. The common phrase associated with suicide is simple, yet extremely true: “You are not alone.”